Being a Mom

Motherhood is tough!!

It gives us the greatest joys and challenges in life.                                                                        
Being a mom is a choice that we make without realizing all the responsibilities that come along...

I’m not talking about pregnancy, giving birth, lack of sleep, breastfeeding, nappy changing, long sleepless nights holding your sick child, or watching his/her first steps… Although, those are wonderful experiences!!

I’m talking about how being a mom can be the hardest job in the world, the thankless, and the most exhausting endless duty.

I’m not exaggerating if I say that, and believe me I know, I’m a mother of three…
Sometimes we don’t realize how stressful is to worry about every single detail every second of the day…

You wouldn't imagine that one day, your body and heart will be no longer yours, they will belong to them!
Your mother has never taught you this, you've seen her walking around with all of her nerves exposed, scarifying her life for you to grow tall and strong while sacrificing her health or sometimes her dreams to be there for you…

And you don’t understand until you become a mother yourself, and walk through the adventure…

Yes Motherhood is tough, every time you trade your happiness for your child’s, when you choose to love him beyond your capacity, to forgive him when he misbehaves, or embarrasses or betrays you. When he tests your limits, and says mean things to you like “I don’t love you” at his teens.                                                                            

Even when you are so angry that you might even resent him for just few minutes, and then, you immediately feel guilty, and blame yourself for that!                                         
And sometimes when life goes hard on you, when the burden becomes too much to bear, when you are frustrated, You might lose your temper and address all your anxiety and fear towards him, and then you question yourself if you are a good mother!!!

To all the mom’s in the world I say: you are blessed for simply being MOMS, because you’re giving yourself, and you wouldn't trade motherhood for the world.

It’s OK if you lose control sometimes, and make mistakes, you are only humans! Don’t let the guilt consume you if you can’t be super moms.

Well you’re doing just fine.

Being a mother means keep going even when you are exhausted and never giving up on your child and this exorbitant emotional cost that you pay to raise him well, will pay off in heaven…  

At the end we can write hundreds of pages about how motherhood is an outstanding feeling, but how many of us have the courage to admit how scary is to be a mom!

In this special day, my thoughts go especially for those who are single, divorced or simply mothers with no support…With those who are fighting every single day for the sake of their child, I would like to say, you are real heroes…

Happy mother’s day.
Written by Hayat Aoun

اليوم العالمي للمرأة

يومٌ واحد لا يختصر حياة كاملة من العطاء ولا يفيها حقّها، ولكن...                        هو يوم المرأة العالمي، يوم تكريم وتذكير بدورها وتضحياتها وكل ما قدّمته للبشريّة، يوم  برسم الإنسانيّة...

الإنسانيّة التي لا يتمتّع بها كل الناس، بل هي حكرٌ على المجتمعات التي تحترم حقوق الإنسان ايًّا كان، ولا تميّز جنسه ولون بشرته وحقّه بالتميّز.

وهنا لا يسعني الاّ ان افكّر بوضع الإنسان ككلّ، وبالأخصّ وضع المرأة المزري في بعض مجتمعاتنا، التي تعزلها في قوقعة من الخوف والشكّ وعدم الثقة بنفسها اوّلاً وبالآخرين تاليًا.

وأتساءل عن الأسباب التي تؤدي بمجتمع ما الى رفض التطوّر الطبيعيّ في العلاقات الإنسانيّة، ورفض سبل العدل والمساواة بين المرأة والرجل.

قد يعتقد البعض ان السبب يعود لفقدان الوعي عند الرجل لجهة تحكيم عقله واعتبار المرأة نصف المجتمع، والسماح لها بالمشاركة الفعّالة وأخذ القرارات والعمل، الخ...

انا اعتقد العكس تمامًا... ان الرجل في هذه المجتمعات السابق ذكرها يتصرّف بأنانيّة وليس بقلة وعي، هو يخاف على نفسه ومكانته من قدراتها واحلامها، يهاب المنافسة لأنها تنال من رجولته...

وهي لا تشعر بالأمان حتّى وان استطاعت الحصول على بعضٍ من حقوقها، لأنها مكتسبات مطبوعة بمعارك قاسية ودامية في بعض الأحيان، وتضعها دومًا في دائرة الخطر.

 اذًا ان المشكلة تتمثّل بالجو الذكوري او الأبوي الذي تربّى عليه الرجل منذ اللحظة الأولى عندما هلّلت النسوة لولادة الصبيّ، الذكر الذي سيحمل اسم العائلة !!!

وتجهّمت النسوة انفسهن لولادة البنت ولذن بالصمت، الاّ من عبارات مثل "بشارتها صعبة"

نعم ان مجتمعاتنا تعاني من الجهل الى حدّ الألم، فلو فكّرنا للحظة من هو المسؤول الأوّل عن المشكلة، يتّضح لنا انّها المرأة نفسها، لأنها عانت الظلم طويلاً فتعوّدت ان تظلم نفسها من خلال استسلامها وتربية اولادها بالذهنية المريضة عينها...

ممّا ساعد تلقائيًّا في النظر اليها نظرة دونية، ما أدّى الى شرعنة احتقارها وإغراقها في الجهل كي لا تنتفض وتواجه قدرًا رسمه الآخرون لها، وحين تتجرّأ امرأة ما ان ترفع الصوت في وجه الظلم تُعاقب أشدّ العقاب من وليّ امرها، ابًا كان ام اخًا ام زوجًا كي تكون عبرة لبني جنسها.

قد يقول البعض ان هذا الواقع لا يشبهنا، وان الرجال تتفاوت مقاربتهم للموضوع كلّ بحسب خلفيّته الأخلاقيّة والدينيّة والثقافيّة، هذا صحيح والتعميم لا يجوز، لكن صدقوني إن امعنّا النظر قليلاً حولنا لوجدنا انه واقع موجود فعلاً وان كان مخفيًّا خلف المظاهر.

لكنّ هذه الصورة وان كانت سوداوية بعض الشيء، تظلّ مقبولة نسبيًّا اذا ما قارنّاها بما يحصل الى اليوم في بعض المجتمعات الظلمويّة التكفيريّة، ففي القرن الواحد والعشرين، عدنا نرى أسوأ انواع العبوديّة الجسديّة والفكريّة والعاطفيّة، وعادت المرأة تُقدَّمُ فريسة  سهلة على مذبح التقاليد العشائريّة والقبليّة، وتُستعبد جنسيًّا، وتؤخذ سبيّة حرب من بعض الجماعات التي فقدت انسانيتها واعتنقت مبدأ القسوة والظلم والإجرام.

نعم، ان المرأة ضحيّة الماضي دون ادنى شكّ، ضحيّة التربية المنزليّة والجهل الذي يلاحقها ويُعشّش في لاوعيها، ضحيّة رجال الدين الذين يحدّون دورها بخدمة الرجل وابنائه!! نعم هم ابناؤه حتّى ولو حملتهم في احشائها وتحمّلت آلام المخاض والسهر والتعب والتضحيات، يبقون ابناءه، ملكه، ذريّته...

ضحيّة الدين الذي يضعها في المرتبة الثانية، عندما جعلها الله ضلعًا من ضلوع الرجل، اي مكمّل له حسب التفسيرات الدنيويّة، بينما هي شريك له حسب التفسيرات السماويّة...

واخيرًأ أحبّ ان أتوجّه الى الرجل قائلةً انت لم تولد قويًّأ وقوّامًا على المرأة، انت فقط انسان محميّ من مجتمع ذكوري وضع قوانينه رجل آخر.

 والمرأة ليست مخلوقًا ضعيفًا بل هي تحارب وحدها ودون سند حتّى من افراد عائلتها التي تكون في معظم الأحيان جلاّدها الأوّل !!!
بقلم حياة عون

An idea of beauty

How can anyone define beauty? Or whatever is visually satisfying or harmonious.
 Many have explained it as a relation between the subject and the original value of an object.
The concept of Beauty has changed over years, without any rules.   Maybe this is difficult to explain, to put into words, it’s not something that exists, its more how we feel about things, it’s how an object can give us joy and let our imagination fly over distance.
 Each person can see it from a different perspective; I think there is a basic human instinct  playing a role here, an internal appreciation  for harmony, balance, and rhythm, which can be felt and seen only through humanity’s  eyes and soul, capturing all the  experiences, cultures and memories of people  from the beginning of times.
I've never been an artist myself, even as a little girl I was bad in handcraft and bricolage, even worse in drawing, but people’s photos, art, music and   poetry always fascinated me.

I know by instinct how to appreciate a good piece of art, when it speaks to me, when the simple visual pleasure becomes an inner    joy, when loving an object turns to a real pleasure of senses, when I feel the air around a sculpture or a painting more intense, even without understanding the meaning of the artwork, I become overwhelmed by the flow of beauty, the harmony between lines, shapes, sounds, colors and space, covers me with a light feeling of peace.  

This could not be rational I know, beauty is relative, but everyone has his own explanation, well this is mine!!!

May you artists of the world be blessed, for taking humanity higher than earth, to other places full of love and hope, far away from the material world!

May you be blessed for creating a magical world and a world of magic...
Written by Hayat Aoun

مجتمع الفشل

ننظر الى الوضع الذي آل اليه مجتمعنا اليوم فنتأسف على ماضٍ تغنينا في ما مضى بحضارته ورقيّه.

مجتمع يدعّي الإنفتاح وهو غارق في الرجعيّة والعشوائيّة

مجتمع يتآكله العنف وانعدام المبادئ والرصاص الطائش يقضم سلامًا مزعوم

مجتمع اقبل على السخافة حتى الثمالة

مجتمع يحتار رجاله كيف يجنون ارباحًا اكثر لسدّ فراغات اكبر

وتمضي نساؤه الساعات على عتبات عيادات التجميل

 واطفاله مسمّرون امام اجهزة الكترونية تأكل روحهم الحلوة شيئًا فشيئا

مجتمع نرجسيّ يظنّ الأرض تدور حوله وانه محور الكون

مجتمع اغلى ما فيه سيارات وهواتف ابنائه

مجتمع يموت فنّانوه ومفكّروه بصمت وغربة وألم

مجتمع كلٌّ يدافع فيه عن إله ويتكلم باسمه وهو منه برّاء

 وأديان ترابيّة المذاق، خسر رموزها الروح في متاهات الأطماع  والملذات الأرضيّة

نعم لقد فقدنا الجوهر وتعلّقنا بالقشور فألّهنا الظاهر من الأمور

لقد خسرنا الحرب على الفقر عندما حاربنا الفقراء

 وغرقنا في الجهل حتّى امتهنّا الغباء

وتبعنا المنجمون والمتنبئون بالغيب وظننّا اننا اسياد القدر

لنقف بعدها بكلّ فخر ونقول للعالم نحن هنا !!!
بقلم حياة عون

Les femmes fatales

Les vraies femmes  fatales ne sont pas les ensorceleuses qui profitent de leur charme pour conquérir les cœurs et les âmes des hommes !

Les vraies femmes fatales sont celles qui gouvernent nos jours avec amour et tendresse, qui s’acharnent pour nous protéger, et qui nous défendent comme des tigresses…

Elles sont les vraies maîtresses du monde.

Celles qui n’ont d’armes que leurs yeux, leur regard perce l’esprit et envahit l’âme, leur cœur bat  de mille ondes et leur force jaillit de leur être.

Elles sont les mères et grand-mères, elles sont les ouvrières et les employées, des femmes ordinaires dans les sociétés…

Les femmes fatales savent ce qu’elles veulent, n’attendent pas d’ordres, elles commandent sans rien dire, elles sont dominantes de caractère.

Une force naturelle émane d’elles, de leur ombre, elles gèrent leur monde en silence sans trompe et sans bruit !!!

Elles incarnent ce que toutes les femmes rêvent d’être, elles subissent les étreintes d’amour mais les guident après, exactement comme elles supportent les problèmes de la vie, et les défis.

Leur soumission est contrôlée par leur seul désir, par l’amour !

Les femmes fatales sont toi et moi, elles sont ce que toutes les femmes sont par instinct, elles sont le vrai reflet de ce que dieu a voulu quand il a créé Ève !
Par Hayat Aoun

Religious Intolerance

What dilemma in our society… “Religious Intolerance”!!!
What false ideas stuffed in our heads since childhood? How and what for, this kind of education could be useful for us? I can’t believe some people could be narrow minded to an extent where they carry college degrees but have no discernment whatsoever!!!!
Does God need us as soldiers in his favor? Does He want us to hate each other by defending His Name? And finally does He accept that we persecute our brothers in humanity because we believe that this shall satisfy Him?
…Personally, I don’t believe so!!!  I believe in kindness, in good hearts and souls, in human relationships.
So for all the arrogant people who defend the Almighty God, I’m telling you this is worthless. We are fed up with ignorant and blind fanatic stubborn people.
Written by Hayat Aoun

Guerre des pensées

En ces temps-là, la démocratie et la liberté de la parole sont en deuil. 

Le monde libre paie le prix avec le sang, le crayon qui dessine les larmes et les sourires des gens, affronte l’arme effrayante de la haine et de l’obscurité.

Ce n’est plus une simple question de bien et du mal, du juste ou du faux, c’est la guerre des pensées et de l’expression qui guide les instincts, c’est l’obscurité des âmes qui est en cause.

 Les hommes s’affrontent parce que la tolérance entre eux est absente, le respect des valeurs humaines est faible, et les esprits sont médiocres.

Les mentalités malades qui règnent de nos jours, sont désespérantes, depuis les premiers temps, des hommes s’entretuaient pour des raisons quelconques, mais le fanatisme religieux qui ronge les sociétés de nos jours, contribue à diminuer les principes fondamentaux que l’humanité a peiné des siècles à acquérir.

L’essentiel dans la guerre d’aujourd’hui qu’elle est contre la DIVERSITE, tout ce qui ne leur ressemble pas, ne pensent pas comme eux est un adversaire qu’il faut éliminer, la liberté d’expression devient un détail devant le grand schéma.

Un schéma qui s’avère très sombre, mais le présent qui pleure amèrement le sang coulé des plumes cassées, ne peut que relever la tête et effacer la gifle, car  l’avenir ne pardonne pas la lâcheté des hommes.
Par Hayat Aoun

Prejudice in society.

Power is one of the issues in modern societies, I have been thinking about it for a while; not as an international question, nor as an abstract one, but simply between man and woman in our societies, because the game is different compared other societies, it could be better or worse, I know.

It has always been said that the power of a person comes from his brilliant mind or his/her strong character facing the world. Separating him or her from their entourage.

What I really think is we are minimizing the role of society, family, and even a partner in life, the role of our educational system and the struggle of faith and beliefs that made us who we are now.

The main idea is that the power can be a process of reprogramming our sub-conscience to fit in the big image of the entire picture in a given society.

A strong charactered man is the one who achieves success in life, business, personal life or simply what society considers it success.

In our society the image is the same, it differs only in the case of women.

A strong woman is not a woman that succeeds in job; she is the one who says NO to what others oblige her to be or to do. She might make wrong choices of course, but can she change that and move forward in her life like in divorce for example? I have seen many cases around me, where she finds a powerful system fighting against her, and imprisoning her in virtual iron barriers of absurdities, starting with her own family, to judicial rulings that judges her and not like a partner in a reciprocal problem.

No matter how strong she is, she finds herself weakened by society that limits her from achieving what she aims in life.

In the same time, this whole system considers a divorce for a man as a simple mistake or a small failure in his personal life, and he moves on with his life…

A huge difference between them both, right???

So the power cannot be only a matter of a strong personality, but a big circle combining all the issues of an entire life. What is simple for him, in most cases, is not for her, no matter how and why…

I think also, that individuals are equal in life; I’m raising my kids, boys and girls to respect each other’s rights, so they can succeed in life, throwing all the prejudice behind them, and see the truth as it is, not as society sees it.

I tell them that the human mind is very powerful; its potentials are unlimited, the essence remains in the capacity to keep ourselves away from the brain washing that we receive since birth to present times which shapes the future.

What separates individuals men or women from success, is not only their capacity to think or act brilliantly, it is unfortunately the way they imprison themselves with this cocoon of ideas, and how to earn others admiration.

When we can simply reprogram our sub-conscience to achieve anything we want in life, and to live our life fully.
Written by Hayat Aoun

Between the holy and the fake.

From the beginning of times, humans were seeking Higher Powers to give them protection and serenity.

Some populations named it God; while others gave Him different names ...

The importance remains in the feeling that occurs in the person’s life.      

 Is it the need of inner peace or simply the reason is humanity's weaknesses?

I don’t have the answer for that, but what’s shocking is the distortion and diversion in the meaning of spirituality into the commercial side of it!

In the past, holidays were a period of blessings, kindness and charity!!!                People used to look warmly into each other’s eyes and say Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Eid Mubarak, or whatever the occasion was…

In time, things have changed and people have changed too, the Holy Period has become empty of its meaning.

Can we call it the century of stress, of depression?  Or the weariness that exhausts us?

Or simply the pressure of society, and how pleasing others is so essential these days.

Do we need to prove anything to ourselves or to others? Why all this perpetual running? And urge to shop or fill our houses with presents?   

Since when this period of year has become superficial and fake?     

Since when the longest tree that we decorate with fancy ornaments is the sign of our goodness?

We pass by old people or poor children on the streets, who are in need, and we ignore them, shutting the door to the humanity side in our hearts, while pretending that life is perfect!

Throughout times, Man has created those holy and sacred memories in order to stay attached to the bright side of humanity.                                                                           But year after year the sad reality showed us that this special period of time turned     out to bring out the greediness in humanity.

And when the selfishness reigns, we lose our souls in the passivity of our reactions, towards the tragedies of the world around us…

 What else can be rewarding???
Written by Hayat Aoun

عصر التعنيف

مرّت الإنسانيّة خلال تطوّرها بمراحل عدّة، لعلّ أهمّها التطوّر الذي حصل على مستوى ترويض الحواسّ.

وبغضّ النظر عن صحّة  نظرية "داروين" في أصول الإنسان وتطوّره، لا بدّ لنا ان نعترف ان طريق البشريّة كان طويلاً في مجال تهذيب غرائزه الأساسيّة.

كان يدافع عن نفسه بوحشيّة اذا تعرّض للخطر، لأن غريزة البقاء كانت تحكم حياته في تلك المرحلة، وتتحكّم بسلوكه.

لكن الوضع تغيّر بالإجمال في يومنا هذا، ففي القرن الواحد والعشرين اصبح العالم يتغنّى بالتطوّر والديموقراطيّة وحريّة الإنسان، بل ويُغالي بهذه القيم، حتّى افقدها روحيّتها في بعض الأحيان.

وإذ بنا نواجه اليوم بعض الناس "اذا جازت التسمية" لا تزال تعيش في العصور الحجرية، لأن العنف ما زال يسيّرها، ويتحكّم بأفعالها، فتفقد السيطرة على اعصابها، ويعميها الغضب.

إنّ التعنيف لا يقتصر على جنس من البشر ولا على دين او بلد او لون، بل انه يطال الجميع، لأنه سلوك بشريّ معيب وغير سويّ.

التعنيف يكون جسديّاً وعاطفيّاً ولفظيّاً ويطال المرأة والرجل والطفل على السواء،

 هوعندما تمتدّ اليد كي تضرب بدل ان تمسح الدموع عن الوجوه

وعندما يصبح اللسان اداةً للإهانة بدل الكلمة الرقيقة التي تبلسم الجراح

وعندما تتهكّم العين بدل ان تحنو بنظرات الحبّ والإخاء

وعندما ينتفي الحوار بين الأشخاص لتحلّ مكانه لغة اللؤم  والتهجّم

وهوعندما يتحوّل الإنسان مسخاً يؤذي ويؤنب ويهين

عندها، تبكي الإنسانيّة مخلوقات يُفترض بها ان تكون بشريّة.
بقلم حياة عون

Stop the Violence

What a "wonderful" world, men are still murdering women in my country, what a shame for humanity!!!!!
Men are so powerful as they "can" beat their wives, their daughters, their sisters and sometimes their mothers...  They  have the right to murder them in the name of "honor" or some any other reason!
What have we done? those men were once small boys. How could they evolve from kids to monsters?
This is our fault definitely, it's our upbringing that made them who/what they are today, shame on us, shame on this society that differentiates between girls and boys.
The education system is miserable in Lebanon, starting in the family, ending I don't know where.
 Maybe we are different!
Yes we are different, we are more sensitive, much more passionate, hard workers as well.
Stop the Violence! all sorts of Violence, physical verbal, psychological emotional.....,
 And become real men!
 Let me tell you something, the strongest man is the one who  loves and cherishes his woman above all. who defies the whole world to wipe her tears away, and make her smile, and only then he could live in peace.
Let her be the light in your life, and believe me, this way she can guide you to the sky!!!!!
Written by Hayat Aoun

A #strong #woman

To rise again

At a certain age, the woman starts feeling a kind of emptiness in her world, her life seems worthless with no support.

When her kids are grown up, and her man is taking her for granted.

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she barely recognizes the dynamic young girl she used to be, and her solitude becomes thicker and painful.

She starts thinking about the future, is it too late to rise again from reality, and is it too hard to start over?

Maybe but this is her only chance to feel alive again, to do and become anything but machine.

Through the years that woman forgot her own dreams, to become only what others wanted her to be, and one day she found the bitter reality in the hardest way. 

Despite the sadness in her eyes, her heart plays a new melody, her dignity never died, and the strong woman finds her way again.
Written by Hayat Aoun

My blog

For those who are wondering if it’s a new blog of extreme feminism, well it’s not.

I’m not a feminist, I simply advocate for human rights, old people, and children, but above all, I deeply believe in equal rights for woman.

Silent, regressed and depressed women with low self-esteem cannot be a part of a healthy society, which leads to many problems.

Let our women be free, let them breathe, let them simply live.

Who am I

I'm a woman, a mother, a wife, i'm everything i supposed to be in the society. But i have dreams about another life, another world, another perceptions, another expectations.
What does a woman want? what do i want? apparently i have everything, but still, i always felt something is missing, to figure this out i will try to put my thoughts, my personal experiences, and my point of view in this blog, so i can know, by the power of words, the way to take, the aim to reach, whatever it is.....